Here are some common sense suggestions if you are looking for a room to rent or a place to live ranked in order of importance based on some of the idiot posts from Craig's List:
1. We all love our pets but desperate situations require sacrifice. If you have a pet, get rid of the pet or be prepared to pay more. If you are on Craig's List looking for a "Room" for rent, the room is for you and not your pet. No one will want to rent to you and people with no pets will get priority. It is inhumane to have a pet locked up in a room. Get rid of your Dog, Cat, Rabbit, Bird, Snake, Turtle and then you will be considered. Also, no matter how well behaved you think your pet is, all pets indoors cause damage. I have a pet, save your hate mail. Additionally, the small white dog you carry in your bag is not a "Service Dog". No Pets means No Pets. Legitimate Service Dogs are trained and registered. If you insist on including your pet and posting your pet's picture, post yours as well. For all the people that are only posting photos of their pets and not themselves, owners rent to people not pets.
2. If you are a couple, you will not get a room rented to you before a single person. Why would a homeowner, who has a 3-bedroom house and charges $500 per room, rent to a couple for the same price as a single person? No one wants to hear your fights, your drama, or you having sex at 3 AM. In addition, a couple uses double the utilities, has twice as much activity so the price is more. Also, for the people that say they are a family with kids and one room is fine - it's not.
3. Please, do your homework before placing an ad and look at the prices other homeowners are charging for rent. If the average homeowner is charging $700 then do not think $400 is acceptable. Take your $400 to an area where you will get what you pay for. You are paying for the safety of the neighborhood you choose to live in. If you want peace and tranquility then you need to pay more for your safety. If you do not mind drive by shootings and Police helicopters you will get what you pay for with $400.
4. When you make unreasonable demands like "Must have Master Bedroom", "Must have own bathroom" you should be prepared to pay the price for someone to give up their master bedroom and bath and go sleep in a room that is their child's old bedroom . If you want a Master Bedroom and a private bath, extra-large closets, secure off street parking, storage space separate entrance, go rent an apartment or be prepared to pay more. Room rental is just that: Room Rental.
5. If your Girl/Boyfriend will "only be there occasionally" go live with them as they must have their own place or stay at their place "Occasionally". "No Guests" is pretty clear it means No Guests
6. If you place an ad for a place to rent that says desperate, urgent, ASAP or need help be prepared not to get an answer. Contact your family or friends; that is what they are for. Also, if you post "will do anything" etc. be prepared for offers to trade sex for a place to live. That is up to you just don't get annoyed.
7. It is amazing how all of a sudden everyone becomes Christian when they are faced with being on the streets or have a desperate need. They want to live in a Christian household. If you are a real Christian then your first resource is your local Church you go to on a regular basis. If you end your post with "God Bless" it only exposes your insincerity. Real Christians know they are blessed and adding this phrase is meaningless.
8. It is also very funny how many people all of a sudden want to cook and clean for a free place to live. If you knew how to cook and clean, you would still be with your last homeowner and you would not be on Craig's List looking for a new a place to live. "I will cook for you", does that mean you are supplying all the food and you are going to cook for me or do I still supply all the food? No amount of your cooking will pay the electric bill or the rent. In addition, I do not think that anyone's house is so dirty and disgusting that it will take a month to clean every single month, month after month in order to equal the value of any rent paid in full. If a house were that dirty, would you move in? I doubt it.
9. If you place an Ad with no dollar amount or "Free", you get what you pay for. Do not place an ad complaining how cold/hot it is, no one feels sorry for your situation and local shelters are for that purpose. If you feel you are too good for the shelter system and your own friends or family will not take you in, why should others? You don't go shopping without money and you don't walk into a store and ask for a free coat because its cold do you?
10. If you are on Craig's List looking for a place to live and you have little or no money, then reality dictates that if you gave up your love for "420" you would be able to pay for rent. No one wants "420" in their home and the money you save on not buying "420" would get you a place. Also, don't try to claim medicinal reasons and that you have a prescription. A "420 Prescription" is easier to get then a Driver's License.
11. Be advised that no one wants your Food Stamps and Food Stamps are not a monetary exchange for a roof over your head unless the homeowner puts in the ad that Food Stamps, WTC, EBT will be accepted for rent.
12. If you are an "outdoor smoker", it makes no difference because the smell permeates your clothes and comes inside when you do. If you smoke, you smell. If you try to sneak it, you will be evicted. No Smoking means No Smoking of anything - including vaping.
13. No one cares about how many degrees you have, or if you are going to College to get a degree. If you have a degree get a job in your chosen field. If you have decided to do a career change, write a novel, become a Reiki Master, a rapper, a Rabbi or whatever; good for you but don't expect that to reduce the rent.
14. No one cares how many potential interviews you have or assurances you will find a job quickly or your willingness to pay later. If you want to pay later, move in later.
15. It makes no sense to place an ad for a free room and then say this is not an ad for sex, or you will cook and clean for a free room, do home repairs etc. Your cooking and cleaning, repair work does not pay for the cost of utilities or for "Premium Cable" or "High Speed Internet/WIFI" that you demand. You are crazy if you think someone is going to provide all of that and a place to stay if you are not willing or capable of "Giving up" anything in exchange. In addition, all of this Personal Assistant/Shopper/Home Organizer/Web site designer offer garbage is BS. If you have those skills use them to get a job.
16. If you are a woman, there are reputable organizations that will rent you a safe place free from harassment. It makes no sense to post on a free forum like Craig's List and say "No dirty old men looking for sex" because there are also dirty old women looking for the same thing. "Dirty old men", "Creepers", "Perverts" or whatever you want to call them are all waiting for you to post your ad. If you don't want people like these to reply, go to a Real Estate agent or rental website not Craig's List.
17. One of the most stupid ads on Craig's List stated: "We are a couple, please let us live in your house for free so we can save up money to get our own apartment". Isn't the whole purpose of renting a room out to make money so that I can pay my own bills? Why would anyone allow someone else to stay in a house free so they can save money while they are costing money to stay there? It makes no sense. On top of that it also said "Neither me nor my girlfriend will "exchange" anything for a free place to stay" If people think they are going to get something for nothing they are either crazy or scammers. One way or another you are going to have to pay. This is one of the most expensive places to live with a critical shortage of housing and more people arriving every month. Think about what you are going to write before you ask for anything as stupid as a free place to live, when you are not willing to give up anything in return.
18. Babies. No homeowner will rent to a woman or couple who is pregnant or who just gave birth. If you are a single mother with no support from the baby's father, go to social services and have them help you make the father pay to support the child. The father has a legal obligation to support the child. Also, if the home is not baby proofed the liability falls on the owner for anything that happens to the child. The risk is too great.
19. Please do not claim discrimination for any of the above or that your rights have been violated because of whatever reason. The housing laws that protect against housing discrimination do not apply to people that rent rooms from a homeowner. If the homeowner lives in the house and rents out a room the homeowner has the legal right to rent or not to rent to anyone they wish.
20. If you live in another city and have always wanted to live in another city and become famous, hide out, start over etc. but want to get a "free place" to live before you move here to "check things out"-- Stay home. Why should anyone pay the cost for your "dreams"? If you want to move here, save enough money to rent a room when you get here. If you run out of money and can only get Porn offers you can go home. Don't expect a free place to live.
21. Don't expect reduced rent because you "will only be there 3 nights a week". Good for you, find someone for the other 4 nights and we can talk. If you only need 3 nights rent a motel room.
22. If you post a picture of yourself, post one that doesn't make you look like a serial killer, a wannabe rapper, child molester, a DUI arrest photo or drunk on your ass. You will get no response unless the person renting the room looks as bad as you do.
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers